When You’re Ready for a Baby, But Your Partner Isn’t

True confessions: I have baby fever.

My husband? Not so much.

If I’m being honest, I’m struggling with it just a bit. I know, as his wife, it is important to respect his opinions and wants, but man, it’s tough!! I didn’t have this strong of a feeling with baby #1, which does make me feel guilty. But for me, baby #1 is making me want baby #2 that much more.

Our first born is a complete joy, and a great little guy. You’d think that would be reason to have another (it is for me!) but it is actually one of the reasons my husband is hesitant to have another right now. He doesn’t want to risk having a “difficult” child. I don’t think there is such a thing.

I totally get it though, I do. Our son just turned 1. We are finally swimming, instead of drowning in the newborn stage. Jman had a rough start, partly my fault because breastfeeding was rocky at the beginning. I remember the hubs holding the baby up and telling him, “You are going to be an only child if you keep this up!” Oh, good times.

I’ll let you in on a little not so secret: men HATE the first 6 months of a child’s life. We have to cut them some slack though, there isn’t much they can do since babies usually just want their mothers. Especially with babies who are breastfed, men can’t do much to help out other than hold them briefly between nursing sessions. I’m sure this is playing a part in my husband’s hesitancy.

His other concern is finances. I agree with him here. Kids aren’t “cheap” by any means. But I feel like you just make it work. I feel destined to be a boy mom, so I’d be able to re-use clothes and baby gear. I’m planning to breastfeed again, and I’m pretty good about budgeting our food, so those changes will be minimal. The big kicker is childcare, since we both work full time. But we have the best caretaker who is very reasonable and not out to get us. It would be an increase, but I think it’s doable. I’m not worried, but this is the one reason he has given that I can level with.

If we all were to actually plan a good time for a baby, there would never be one and our world would be lacking a few kiddos. There is always something that could come up, or a reason not to add to the family. I don’t think planning for a good time is possible.

So here I sit, trying to be patient and wait for him to get on board with my crazy desire. I’ve been praying about it every night because I’m pretty sure that is all I can do. I know my husband wants more children, he just has a different schedule than I do and that is okay. It is perfectly okay. We are a team, and we will know exactly when the time is right.

Has anyone else gone through this? Share tips/ideas for coping in the comments!! I’d love to hear them.

**Just to throw this in there, it definitely doesn’t help that I feel like I’m always surrounded by pregnant women and brand new, squishy babies. I mean, I’m a prenatal/postpartum and pediatric dietitian, so it comes with the job description. Dangit.

 

About Mallory

Nice to meet you. I'm Mallory! I'm a believer, wife, and mother. In my professional life, I am a registered dietitian and certified lactation counselor. I'm striving to be the best mom and wife I can be, always working to improve. Join me as I make a mess in the kitchen and at the sewing table, all while trying to save some money!

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